Robotomy
by Abicion
Summary: This is what upgrading to Windows Vista felt like.


Alisa had reached the heart of Mishima Headquarters: The central processing plant. All she had to do now was eliminate Jin and free the world from the corporation's reign of terror. She was about to achieve her beloved father's dying wish.

Mishima's entire mechanized army did everything they could to put her down. When a group of hulking robotic foot soldiers ambushed her, a pair of metal angelic wings grew from her back and allowed her to jump clear over their heads. She zipped in and out of the mob and put the entire battalion down in a flurry of flying attacks and spinning kicks. When an automated tank charged toward her, both of her arms transformed into electric chainsaws and she sliced the vehicle to pieces. Wave after wave the war machines tried to stop her, and wave and wave they were reduced to a heap of smoke and sparks. And she did it all without even coming close to exhausting her energy supply or putting too much fatigue on her small frame. She was the superior model in every regard.

Then the robots stopped coming. It was either because it was clear they had no chance against her, or because she had destroyed every single unit that had come off the assembly line.

The sound of a pair of silk-bound hands slowly clapping echoed through the complex. Alisa quickly turned and saw Jin and Anna stepping out of the shadows. Jin had silent hatred chiseled on to his face. He was wearing a black trench coat and a pair of business pants. Just beside him, Anna was wearing her usual red qipao and clapping in fake applause for Alisa.

"Well, how do you want to handle this?" Anna asked Jin with a smug look on her face. "Two on one? Maybe we could draw straws? Rock, paper, scissors?"

"I'll keep her busy." Jin stepped forward and swiftly threw his coat away, revealing his muscular physique. "You cover intel."

"Sounds fun," Anna replied to his back.

Jin dropped his calm composure and lunged straight for Alisa. She flipped out of the way of his melee attack and answered by launching her Rocket Fist toward his head. He moved quickly enough so the projectile only grazed the spikes in his hair.

Alisa replaced her missing fist and went on the offense. Jin and Alisa traded punch for punch, knocking each other through factory equipment and control boards, and neither one could wear the other down. Finally, Alisa deployed one of the thrusters on her ankles and used the extra torque to punt Jin into the building's ceiling. She used her wings again to leap up beside him and continue the battle in the rafters.

Fighting on a narrow catwalk gave Alisa the advantage with her smaller and more nimble frame. Jin fought mostly on the defense, leading her backwards while blocking her attacks and constantly looking over the railing to see where they were in relation to the floor below. As soon as he found a safe opening, he ducked her next punch and lifted her by the throat.

Alisa dangled by her neck several stories in the air and kicked her legs for dear life. Jin squeezed her throat tighter, and she started to feel her sensory circuits lose their power as the ventilation shaft in her neck was constricted. In desperation, she pivoted all of her weight forward, grabbed Jin's shoulders with her legs, and threw him off of the catwalk with a jet-propelled _huracanrana_.

Jin crashed into a flat, aluminum-grated portion of the factory floor. Alisha dived after him, using her wings to gain extra downward speed and planting both of her heels straight into his chest when she reached the ground. While Jin remained on the floor groaning in pain and clutching his ribs, Alisa closed her wings and calmly lowered her arms to her sides.

"Ha! Is that the best you've got?" she shouted in victory.

"Not quite," Anna jeered from somewhere behind her.

Anna's interruption caught Alisa off guard, giving Jin a chance to roll out of harm's way. Alisa just started to turn when Anna flipped the switch.

Alisa screamed as millions of watts surged through the grated floor, made contact with the soles of her boots, and shot straight up to her head. After an agonizing eternity, Anna turned the electrified trap off and let Alisa collapse to the ground. The android slumped to her knees, then limply flopped the rest of the way on to her back. For a minute, she lay motionless with her eyes closed and a faint cloud of steam rising out of her microscopic exhaust pores. Her basic programming continued to maintain her cooling systems, giving her the appearance of a human girl breathing lightly in her sleep.

Her eyes struggled to open again. The after effects of the electrical shock still raged through her wiring, making it so she couldn't move anything other than the joints in her face no matter how much effort she used. Her head remained flat against the ground and she looked straight up to the ceiling as she spoke automatically.

"System… failure. Sensor interference. Response time diminished. Servos malfunctioning. Self-repair initiated."

Then she saw Anna standing directly over her, staring at her upside-down.

"Yeah, your servos are going to go nighty-night for a while," the Mishima woman explained. "It's important for you to be awake for this next part, but I don't want you squirming around while I'm under the hood. You could hurt both of us."

Anna was holding something resembling a hefty steel suitcase. She circled the android like a vulture, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Alisa, Alisa. Coming here all by yourself and trying to play superhero. That artificial heart of yours must be filled with so much courage. Too bad there wasn't anything in your brain circuits to tell you what a dumb idea this was."

She crouched beside Alisa and opened the case. Built into the heavy protective shell was a portable console meant for diagnosing and repairing malfunctional androids. Anna focused on Alisa again, studying her lifelike body with eager and attentive eyes.

"Now where, oh where, did the old doctor build the upload port on this piece of junk?"

Alisa's lips quivered nervously at that question. Even in her limited capacity, she could reason what Anna was planning to do. She squeezed her eyes shut in the vain hope that this was all an electric nightmare and she'd come out of Sleep Mode at any minute.

"That's alright," Anna said quietly. Her tone managed to sound both reassuring and threatening. "You don't have to tell me. You want your privacy. I'll just have to find it myself."

Anna dug inside of the suitcase and retrieved a miniature scanning device. With one hand, she held it over Alisa's head. With her opposite hand she touched the side of Alisa's head, carefully running her gloved thumb along the entrance to Alisa's ear.

"No, it couldn't be there. That's where all your explosives are stored."

Anna scanned down Alisa's neck and hovered over her chest in a circular motion. The device still didn't detect the necessary circuitry.

"It's not around your generator, either," Anna said, growing perplexed. She slowly moved the scanner down Alisa's chest, down her abdomen, and down further still.

"Don't tell me he put it _there_," Anna muttered in genuine concern.

She allowed the scanner to float just over Alisa's black shorts for a few seconds. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, she continued to scan along the android's nylon stockings and over her fighting boots. The device never found a thing.

Anna spent a few more minutes glancing over Alisa's clothing. She thought maybe one of those tacky flower accessories doubled as an access point, but those proved to be a dead end as well.

"Honestly. Where in the hell… ?"

When she turned Alisa over on her belly, the machine girl's nanomuscles became rigid and kept her raised on her hands and knees. The groveling posture worked well for her, Anna decided. It would be a good part of the learning experience.

Anna finally found what she was looking for. On Alisa's bare back, in the same open area her robotic wings had sprouted from, the x-ray scan revealed a rectangular shape hidden under her synthetic flesh.

"Gotcha," Anna whispered in a low, seductive voice. The sound of it would have caused Alisa to crawl away in terror if her hydraulics weren't still struggling to come online.

Anna's silk fingertips massaged the narrow dimple between Alisa's shoulder blades. It was just the right amount of pressure to activate the robot's reserve gyros, temporarily folding the skin away and exposing a horizontal array of data ports on Alisa's back. Anna inserted her console's transfer cables one by one, causing Alisa's eyelids to spontaneously flutter in surprise each time. She wet the end of the last cable with the very tip of her tongue and, when it was pushed into Alisa's transfer port, the small amount of moisture was just enough to cause a short circuit that sent an extra jolt through Alisa's entire alloy frame. With everything in place, Anna returned to her console and went straight to work.

What little resistance Alisa was able to bring stopped in an instant. She fell into what looked like a deep trance as her CPU began to receive a massive influx of data.

While she was still crouching beside Alisa and typing away on the keypad, Anna began a vague attempt at a friendly conversation.

"Sorry for all the intrusion, but I need to make this snappy. These on-field maintenance things weren't exactly designed with the robot's comfort in mind."

She grinned to herself when she easily broke through Alisa's most sacred security routines. With a few more button presses, the android would be completely at her mercy.

"So tell me a little bit about yourself, dear," Anna said as if she wanted to be Alisa's psychiatrist.

"Initiating BIOS procedures," Alisa said in a mechanical stupor. Rather than directly responding to Anna, however, she was only speaking because her start-up program had been triggered. "Bosconovitch Series 9000. Model name: Alisa. Class A peacekeeping unit. Current priorities: 1. Protection of free will. 2. Assistance to those in need. 3. The fall of the Mishima crime syndicate. Conscience Protocols active. No owner registered. Permanently set to Autonomous Mode by previous owner, Geppetto Bosconovitch."

Anna's lips warped into a sarcastic frown.

"_My_. That's an awful lot for one poor robot to worry about. We'll just have to change that, won't we?"

She pressed her index finger to her chin and slyly glanced away.

"Now where's that little rootkit we cooked up for you?"

Alisa felt a cold shiver crawl up the segmented metal rings of her spine.

Anna began searching for something. She checked the sides of her gloves, a pocket in her dress collar, and on her garters. She looked all over, pretending she forgot where she tucked the disc away. It was all an elaborate charade, delaying Alisa's scheduled lobotomy for a few extra seconds only so Anna could relish the moment and mock her a little bit more.

Finally, she looked down and smirked. She reached into the window in the front of her qipao, pulled out a small fabric sleeve from between her breasts, and loaded the minidisc into the console. She was humming contently to herself as she entered more commands on the keyboard. Alisa felt oddly relaxed as soon as the new wave of data streamed through her processors.

"Sorry about your precious 'daughter,' Doctor, but you knew the rules when you breached your contract with us." Anna's eyes never left the monitor as she spoke aloud to the deceased inventor. She hoped somehow, somewhere, he would hear her. "Mishima reserves the right to seize any and all debts however they see fit. She'll just have to make up for that new military hardware you never got around to completing."

She snickered in the middle of her speech.

"We'll treat her well, though. Jin always needed a good pet."

Jin came around to Alisa's front. Kneeling at eye level with mechanical maiden, he saw her emotion circuits had locked up. Her face was frozen in an ambiguous expression, like a porcelain Mona Lisa.

"Any problems?" He asked Anna firmly, still nursing his ribs.

"Hmm… nothing major," Anna responded on the upbeat. "Most of these overwrites are slipping right in without much fuss. Her protection grid is still knocked out from the electrical attack."

A flood of confusing data packets swirled through Alisa's cybernetic mind. Her half-conscious thoughts were filled with protocols with missing instructions, directives that outright contradicted themselves, and a fragmented bank of unorganized information. The digital tornado only became stable when Anna stopped tinkering on her keyboard.

"'Please restart to apply all changes'?" Anna repeated the exact words that appeared on her monitor with a confused look.

"You've got to be kidding," she puffed her cheeks and blew an exasperated sigh. "Bosconovitch was decades ahead of us and even he couldn't figure out how to auto-update these things."

Anna used the reset command. The tiny screens built inside of Alisa's irises switched off as her head slumped forward. For a few seconds, her eyes lit back up as two solid blue saucers. They regained their more lively color and texture as each of her systems came online. Computerized instinct caused her to start speaking again.

"Initiating BIOS procedures," she announced stoically, looking straight forward at empty space. "Bosconovitch Series 9000. Model name: Alisa. Class F slave unit. Current priorities: 1. Undercover infiltration and observation. 2. Termination of authorized human targets. 3. Proliferation of Mishima Zaibatsu. Conscience Protocols disabled. Self-restore files not found…"

Anna moved to Alisa's face to get a closer inspection. She took Alisa by the chin and gazed into her electronic eyes, waiting patiently for the final—and most important—part of her boot cycle.

"Anything else?" Anna asked anxiously.

"Property of Jin Kazama," Alisa finished saying in her idle voice.

Proud of herself, Anna looked over toward Jin.

"Not bad for a quick fixer-upper, hmm?"

Alisa regained her mobility and sat up on her knees while Jin and Anna were standing over her. She peered toward Anna with an innocent and embarrassed look, silently reminding the Mishima agent of the data cables that were still attached to her back.

"Ah! I almost forgot," Anna exclaimed while snapping her fingers.

She carefully plucked each cable from the ports between Alisa's shoulders. With a soft tap on the back of Alisa's neck, she prompted the compartment to close itself and go back into hiding.

Rising to her feet, Alisa curiously looked back and forth between her two masters: Anna with her hands on her hips and Jin with his arms staunchly crossed. She politely remained to herself, awaiting her next command.

"What do you think, Jin?" Anna turned to her superior as she asked. "You're the one who wanted me to handle her training."

Her eyes shifted intently back toward Alisa.

"Do you want me to put your new toy on duty right away? Or should I take her to get washed and polished first?"

The look on Anna's face said she had already made up her mind.

* * *

Weeks later, Alisa was standing in front of a desk in a Mishima office. Anna sat on the opposite side, leaning from her leather seat with her hands folded under her chin. Alisa was quiet and demure. Anna, as always, seemed like she had some new sadistic plot hatching in the back of her mind.

"How are you enjoying our humble abode, Alisa?" Anna asked. "I know the housing stations weren't intended for robots of your particular stature, but I hope you're finding the place pleasant enough."

"Thank you." Although Alisa answered out of respect, there was a certain uneasiness in her voice. "To be honest, Madame, it still feels a little weird having to sleep in the factory with all the Jacks and Nancys. My AI programming is better suited for human interaction."

"You'll get used to it." Anna warmed up with an encouraging look.

Even with the curled pink hair, the sparkling violet dress, the jewelry, the flowers, the jet packs, the endless exploding heads, and the chainsaws, Alisa technically wasn't any different from any of the mass production models in Mishima's service. With a few exceptions (a one-of-a-kind Bosconovitch invention several generations ahead of anything Mishima built required a slightly higher level of maintenance), Anna treated her like any other piece of hardware and made her participate in all of the same menial drills as the other rank and file machines. This was a way to condition her, to "adjust her internal settings," until she accepted her place in life and felt at ease with being a tool of Mishima. She would earn back some of her old luxuries once she had the opportunity to prove she was more valuable than a common disposable drone.

And speaking of opportunities…

"But I think I have something more to your liking."

Anna reached into one of her drawers and placed a single folder on the desk. She opened the manila flap to show Alisa an assortment of information on a single person: A teenaged boy with short dark hair and a white shirt. A small square photograph sat on top of the stack, apparently lifted from his class roster.

"Shin Kamiya. He's a quasi-Devil Gene user we've been following for some time. A relic from an experiment no one really likes to talk about. Jin would like you to enter his school posing as a new student and keep close tabs on him. You're to bring him in alive when we give the order."

Alisa took the photograph in her white thumb and forefinger to get a closer look. She found him to be rather attractive, and she was glad she wouldn't be asked to kill him. She wouldn't, however, feel the same way toward anyone who happened to get in her way.

"Well, Alisa? This is your big break. Can Jin and I count you for this one?" Anna tilted her head as her eyes narrowed.

"Of course, Madame." The android answered with an optimistic nod.

* * *

**Author's note:** I was doing something different with this story by trying to fit it into Tekken canon. It explains how Alisa winds up as Jin's personal double-agent battle-bot during the events of Tekken 6 and Blood Vengeance, and I think it turns her into a more tragic character compared to "She was just built that way, lol." As for why Anna's helping robot babes get rekt when she's supposed to be doing G Corporation shenanigans, you can assume she was on Mishima's side up until Jin recruited Nina, and she only jumped over to the G Corporation because she felt scorned by Jin. Or just fanwank something, I don't care. I only wanted to include her as the archetypical sassy villainess.


End file.
